Crimson Flow
by Alwayshereforyouforevermore
Summary: Allen Walker is a 15 year old boy who attended Noahs Order for 2 years now. He is faced with unexpected events and became in depression. The only one he loved will never love him back. What does he do when his gazes at a knife? What are knifes good for? Cutting. Will this all turn around for him just in time? Or will he never see light again? Blood is thicker than water.
1. Blades Edge

**Hello. My name is Alwayshereforyouforevermore. It's great to finally publish a fic. I hope you enjoy this Laven fic. And please be gentle. ^^' **

**This is my first fic, and I'll try my best with this! :) Enjoy~ 3**

Crimson Flow

The blade is steady, firm and light.

The boy is silent, dead as night.

As silver hair falls, it takes a toll.

His body is numb, the blade is now dull.

His eyes close, never to awake.

To soon be gone, to wait his fate.

The blood runs down, thick and bright.

To the person who sees this, will be a frightful sight.

Blood is thicker than water; we all know it's true.

As night becomes darkness, I lose sight of you.

Chapter 1.

Blades edge.

It was a horrible day. It was only one mistake. Why did it come to this?

Why?

_~Flashback~_

_Today is the 2__nd__ year of attending Noahs Order. This runs by the Headmaster Earl and my friend Lenalee's Brother Komui. He is like secondary in command. If necessary, or any means, a man called Malcolm C. Leverrier. He is the ultimate head in command at this school, and will do anything necessary to perfect it. _

_Its 7:30am. So I am currently walking to Noahs Order, and its overcast. Not too bad for it being Wednesday. Today is an awesome day, not too sunny, not too dark with the clouds, nice temperature, and a cool breeze. It's starting off great! I smile at today and make my way to school. I swing my arms to the front gate with a skip in my walk as I see happy faces smile at me and my friends awaiting me. My face splits as they look at me, frowning and with sad displeasing looks staring down the core of my soul. What's happening? I'm sure I did nothing wrong. _

_Everyone was smiling at me? Right? Everything was perfectly fine and dandy since arriving. When I stop and I take a look at the disapproving faces that they too stare at me like I did something wrong, what did I do wrong? As if my thought was heard, a voice cuts me off._

"_Hey! You, ya' don't belong here, get away!" A male's voice I heard shout at me, it sounds so angry and raspy. Why did he say that? _

"_Oi! You with the white hair! Get! We don't want any more problems!" What does she mean?_

_I look towards my friends as I see them with looks of sympathy and sadness. A tear slid down my face as I hear the one that I love called my name out._

"_Allen. Just leave, and never come back." My heart breaks as he says that. The one I love that will never love me back. Is it because of my appearance? Oh wait, of course. He's straight. Idiot! I should've known. I make a run for it with my bag in tow, as I race out the front gate. They throw rocks and paper balls at me as I do. I feel every hit and the beating of my heart pounds and flutters in pain and betrayal. I hear so many names and things being said at me as I do so, as I even go down my street. "All of the problems started here when you first came here, ya' fag!" One of them said. But, I did nothing wrong, right? I swear I wasn't the cause of this! Why?_

_I make my way to my house and smash open the door and I try to forget what ever happened today. My mind is racing and my thoughts are scrambled together as they rapidly race through my head. Names and things they shout at me come back as I sit down in my room in the darkest corner I have. The suddenly it stops as I have a message._

_What is the message?_

_I take my silver phone out and to see a text on my screen. I slid it open. _

_Bad idea._

"_Go to hell." It says. Another comes through._

"_Kill yourself!" Another says. Another appears saying this._

"_You are the cause of all our shitty lives. Go AWAY!" Am I? I didn't do anything to make anyone's life, well, crappy or anything…_

_Right?_

_Why did this suddenly happen? It was a great day so far. So, why did they turn on me today? Why? Couldn't they just say it nicely? _

_My emotions get all mixed up as I smash my phone and grip my head as I see the one I love, looking at me, so disappointed and sad at me. My heart can't take this anymore! My guardian Cross won't be home till around 10. So, I guess I'll be doing the one thing I'm good at._

_Sleeping._

_I awake with a sense of dread. As I actually smell something. I glance at the clock, its 7:00pm. I must've slept pretty damn well! I make my way to the door as I'm greeting with toilet paper and some paper stuck to the board walls of my guardian's house. He will be so mad at me! I cringe at the thought and I run back inside and I start to feel dizzy and tiring all of a sudden. I grip the walls as I make my way to my room. My body collapse down on the hard floor as my vision fades to black._

_What is going on?_

_I wake up finding my left arm in massive pain and my left eyes hurts a lot. I open my right eye to find my room a mess and it looks like a tornado went through it. I gather up my strength to get up and walk over to my mirror. As I see my left eye, bleeding my eye widens at my arm, its black and has a deep cut of a cross with…wait, _

…_green glass it?_

"_What the…" My voice cuts off as I gaze at a shiny tempting object._

_I glance at the clock to see its 9:00pm, and my mind gears._

_What are knifes good for? _

_Cutting._

_~Flashback ended~_

This is where I am now, sitting in the darkest corner of the room. With a knife, some pills, and depression as well.

The blade is firm and light on my skin; its blade is sharp, thick and thin.

Some blood is oozing out, I'm trying not to cry and shout.

My left arm is already in pain, I want it to go away.

The knife is cutting my burnt flesh, as I stress to not make a mess.

My senses are going numb; the pills are sinking in them.

My vision is getting dark, as there is no light; not even a spark.

My cuts are not deep, so deep, I want to sleep.

My mind has stopped, as I see the one I loved.

One more time, I remember his smile.

If only it would, last a while.

"Good night. Lavi"

**So, how did it go? I hope I didn't do poor or anything. Thank you all! I'm really sensitive about bullying, cyber-bullying, teen suicide, ect. Lets ****all help each other and try our best and smile! Even if life gets the best of us! :) Thank you very much. And remember I'm,**

**"Always here for you forever more."**


	2. Memory of Yesterday – Becomes today

**Hello to all! Wow! I'm speechless really. ^^ I never expected this, I'm flattered. I tried my best for this chapter. I really love Laven. It's so sweet! Ok, I'm going to make a list! X3 This is going to be fun! :)**

**Happycafegirl: Thank you for your favourite! ^^ It helps a lot. It makes my day a better enjoyable one! The best days are ok, the epic ones are around the corner. 3**

**Allen WalkerCrown Clown: Thank you for following this so much! . I hope you like this chapter! Enjoy your day! You never know if you never try. :D ^^ 3 **

**Flufficat: Oh my goodness! Thank you so much! ^^ My friend cried as well, you're not alone. I was listening to "How To Save A Life" By "The Fray". So, I cried a lot listening it to the song the first time and I couldn't help but relate to it. Thank you so much for your review! Sometimes love can be bitter sweet :) That's the same with tears. =^..^= 3**

**Kelly M. Black: Thank you a lot for following! ^^ As always, it helps me try harder and better! Thank you so much! _ It makes me want to jump and fangirl everywhere to be honest! Enjoy! Look into the past to only start fresh like minty fresh! 3**

**Sora de le Cielo: Thank you for both following and favourit-ing. You are great! ^^ I hope you enjoy this chapter! Head held high and never look down! 3**

**Andune Carnesir: Thanks so much! . I may be exaggerating, but I never thought I would start off like this! Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy this chapter, and many others to come! Good comes to those who wait. ^^ 3**

**Ravensoul1999: I am flattered. Really! ^^ Thank you a lot for Following this fic! *_* I am bewildered! Enjoy, I insist! Enjoy life while you can, because the good stuff is still coming. 3**

**Princesslolitatheorca654: Awesome! xD I hope you enjoy this chapter and the fic so far! ^^ Awesome is awesome. Nothing else, because that who ad what you are. Awesome! 3**

**Hikaru Line 28: Thank you for following and favourite-ing! ^^ X) This is really an unexpected turn out. A good turn-out. :) You never know what's around the corner, unless you look. 3**

**Thank you all for reviewing, following and favourit-ing! I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart! It brings a smile on my face and tells me I should keep going and get all the depressing stuff out. :) You all have saved me and it makes me want to bring happiness into other people's lives and not just me, even though my life isn't perfect. Now, let's get on with chapter 2! **

**Enjoy!~ 3**

Crimson Flow

My mind is blank, blind as sight.

My body is numb, but I hold the knife tight.

There is no saviour, as I take my life.

There is no light, dark as night.

The gears in my head, it's no longer spinning.

The time of fate, is no longer ticking.

His beating heart; has stopped beating.

His life is over, he has stopped living.

But the only thing, is keeping him living.

But what is it, or who is it?

Is that you?

Chapter 2

Memory of Yesterday – Becomes today.

It felt weird. My body felt numb. It doesn't feel like that anymore. I don't know why, but it feels empty for some reason. I awake with the scent of medical stuff, almost smells like a hospital. Why? I cringe and wonder to myself. Wait.

Didn't I die?

The feeling on being on the edge of dead felt so nervous, but it felt like heaven – Like being flightless and no limits or worries. It only lasted for a minute or so until it felt like I was being picked up and carried somewhere. But where?

Time to find out.

I nervously try an open my eyes. Problem is I can't open my left eye, but I feel comfortable with opening my right though. I open to only find a white wall above me. Huh? I try to sit up and it hurts so much, but gravity worked on me and I fell back in soft fabrics.

Suddenly, all the memories come back from yesterday. Rushing and flowing through my mind as I see them splash down before me. Like a wave. It was a nice morning. I was smiling and I had a skip in my walk as I reached the front gate. Did I hallucinate those smiles? Fearing the faces that they were actually wearing behind their masks? Maybe. I then saw three of my friends standing towards me with the crowd of students standing in a circle formation. Like there was no escape of my fate. Kanda and Lenalee stood to the sides. My friend, my crush, the one I love that will never love me back was standing in the middle, with sympathy in his eyes as they shone emerald green with the faintest glint of sunlight.

Then, it all went down to hell. My friends turned against me, betrayal struck me in my heart. As I hear those words rush back inside my head. I feel a pang in my chest and I suddenly feel like crying.

"_Allen. Just leave, and never come back."_

But those words had an emotional hinted through them when he said that. What is happening? I went to my house as a coward and the first thing I do is go to my room in the darkest corner. I got texts and the third one. It made me want to never exist at all. Was I the cause? I'm sure I did nothing wrong. I then gaze at the knife. And then…I…couldn't help but…The crimson flow of my blood…

My mind cuts short as I hear beeping. What the-

"Oi! Baka-Bak! Come quick! He heart is pacing over average!" I hear a female voice shout, but I can't make out the words she said, as I only hear pounding and beeping. Agh. I think I'm getting a headache.

"Coming!" I hear as I feel my body shift upwards and I see an needle and a flash or colours.

I feel a pinch in my right arm and I notice that someone is putting a needle in my arm. Wait-What?!

I feel the rush of air breathe out of my body as I try and glance around my surroundings, and I feel something warm on my chest gently pushing me back.

"It's ok Walker. Just relax; we won't do anything bad to you. We are doctors. You are in Asian Branch Hospital." As on cue, my body relaxes from the treatment. I look up to meet the males voice to reach a man in his 20's with golden blond hair, with a white coat on and with medical supplies.

I relax and I use the memories of yesterday to them as my today and start fresh. I look to my left to see my arm is bandaged and I look up to see a girl that is checking with the heart monitor. She too is wearing a white coat and she has reddish-pinkish hair which stands out amazingly and she seems calm and focused. Wow.

"Baka-Bak. He is stable for now; do you think he will be alright?" She asks as she calls 'Baka-Bak' and looks at him seriously but with a glint of curiousness in her maroon eyes.

"He's going to be fine, and my name Doctor Bak for your information Nurse Fou!" I hear Doctor Bak explain both remarks as I look out the window to see a read car appear down below. I look upwards and I ignore the arguing between Nurse Fou and Doctor Bak. I just want to get out as quickly as possible. I hear a knock as I focus on the frozen nurse and doctor instead of the clouds that still over casts this town.

"Someone is here for Mister Walker. Bak-San and Fou-San, we wish to let the patient alone which is requested by the visitor." A lady says with two pig-tails and purple hair and glasses. She looks over to me with concern and I smile at her to let her know I am alright. She immediately looks away and I saw her face redden for some reason. I hope she doesn't have a fever.

"Ok then. Let's go Fou. We will check up on you soon Walker. Don't get into too much trouble while we are gone. OK? Thanks" Doctor Bak said while Nurse Fou tagged along side and the lady in tow, but her head down with her clipboard.

My my…What else is going to happen? My guardian popping up out of know-where with debts? Or is it going to be the ones who trashed my room and graffiti all over my/guardians house?

It was none of those. Do you ever feel like, when the person you don't ever want to see again comes back after almost taking your life?

Time has stopped, it's like my heart has dropped.

My face pales, as time sails.

Your fiery hair, nothing can compare.

The emerald eyes that shine, so bright; they can blind.

A smile so perfect, even if it's happy; it can trick.

Why have you come here, when you said not to come near?

I am a nobody that causes problems; I deserved the names as they call them.

So why are you here now, how can I bare this, how?

When my heart is shattered, it's like I'm battered.

Until you spoken, it's like my heart wasn't broken.

"Hi Allen. I'm sorry for what happened. Many things have happened. Many things have changed. Can we start again? But this time, with me?"

My world…

…Has come back to life. For better, or for worse?

**So, how did I do this time? ^^ I hope not to shabby. 030 Anyways, Will Allen's life turn into good or bad? Will he start new with this 'visitor'?  
Or will he just say no to both and be in the middle? Hang with me with the next chapter 3! And thanks for the support everyone! See ya' soon! 3**


	3. You and Me – Change is happening

Konichuwa! I hope everyone enjoyed the last chapter! ^_^ I seen lots of great and emotional scenes, that are written so perfectly and so creative full of drama and our daily life-style. So interesting and very well done, it's like bringing -Man to life to different Categories and different styles and imaging things so much differently to what they really are or were. I love watching different types of Anime, but -Man stole my heart and I love it so much! :D 3

Akiraki: Thank you very much for following this and favourit-ing it! I appreciate it so much! ^_^ May you have great times! 3

MasterOfMisrule: Thank you also, for following and favourit-ting! I appreciate it so much! ^_^ May you have fun! 3

Hikaru Line 28: Hehe ^_^ Yeah. I'm glad you are interested and loved the story so far! :) Arigatou! May you enjoy this! 3

Inuyashamunkey: Of course, of course! XD No worries, I forgive you! I too, am too busy and a bit tired as well. ^_^' Gotta' keep tying! 3

Alwaysstaygray: Thank you so much for following! I appreciate it so much! ^_^ May you have a good one! 3

Cooky2468: Thank you so much for following! I appreciate it so much! ^_^ May you have a happy time! 3

Flufficat: Wow. I'm truly speechless! X3 Hehe Thank you! I do try my best, and it's hard to know what's gonna happen next! But aw well, it makes things even more interesting, ne? ^_^ I favour "How to save a life". Hehe Thank you once again Flufficat! May you have a great time and listening to music! 3

Laviallen: ^_^ Thank you so much for following and favourit-ting! I appreciate it so much! Also, thank you so much for the review! I shall keep going no matter what! :) May you have a good one! :D 3

Kanda6: Thank you so much for favourit-ing this story! ^_^ I appreciate it so much! May you have a fun one! 3

Cianade6: Thank you so much for following this! I appreciate it so much! :) May you have a fun one as well! 3

Just two question's to all of you anime and -Man lovers:

What would you think if when the time Allen and Tyki encountered, and Fou never walked through the forest of Bamboo…and Lenalee and Lavi found him instead? What do you think would happen from there on? Let me know please, I don't want to be the only one thinking this! :)

When Allen dove the sword through Tyki to exorcise the Noah out of him, what would happen if Allen got Tyki and Lero, without Tyki awakening his Noah and they went through Roads Door? Let me know. I'll be happy and glad to hear your options! ^_^

Thank you and enjoy!

Crimson Flow! 3

Life is like the wind, it takes you to Sin.

Death is like fire, fierce and anger it brings.

The world spins, like a hurricane.

All I see is drops, of sad rain.

Outside is free, inside I'm trapped.

But who made me, feel like that?

Feeling so weak, I can't even think.

Feeling so dead, I can't fight.

I swore that I was dead, on that fateful night.

But then for some reason, you guided me to the light.

Chapter 3

You and Me – Change is happening

I hear nothing else as I begin to hear ringing noises. What is happening right now? Did he just say – No…He-

"Allen."

My thoughts cut short when I hear that voice of his, I try to find where it came from, but he was nowhere seen.

"Allen, you in there?"

"Ahh!"

Lavi is right beside me next to the window sitting on the frame. I didn't even notice…

"Sorry-Sorry" Lavi smiles and then looks out the window and frowns, "I'm sorry…"

"huh?"

I'm so confused, why is here? Didn't he say we aren't friends anymore the other day? I can feel myself get dizzy when I didn't notice Lavi getting off the window frame and came towards me. All I felt was warm around my hands.

"I'm sorry! Allen Walker, I'm sorry! It's all my fault it lead to this!"

"What?" I questioned as I noticed…

…Lavi is holding my hands tight and firm, I feel…safe and calm for some reason.

I look into his eye to see guilt and betrayal, while I can feel his warm skin brushing against mine.

"Lavi…I…" I couldn't find the words as he presses his head against mine. I flush at the touch and I close my eyes. I think, for a moment…has my life changed? Is it better now that Lavi is here?

No…

I can't be sure to trust him, I have to be cautious, but…

A thought came into my mind…

What happens if he was just acting or doing and saying that stuff to help me or even more…

To protect me…?! No! Don't be ridiculous! I'm just a freak of pity, scum of a fudging coward that makes everyone's lives worse and-!

"Allen, what are you thinking about…?"

I then realise something…

"Allen, don't cry…

It's ok. You're with me. Let it all out." Lavi soothes me as I notice that I'm crying steams of tears.

"L-Lavi…?"

"Shhhhh…It's ok. Everything is gonna be fine. I promise. I promise…"

I didn't expect this to happen. Not at all! I feel so weird, like butterflies in my chest, fluttering everywhere making me feel so…so…

"Allen, I love you."

Before I could finish…or even grasp on what's happening…

A warm touch kissed my lips, as I open my eyes to my surprise.

Lavi is kissing me…

Lavi is kissing me?!

It's like all my thoughts are, drained away far.

For all my troubles, and all my stumbles.

My forbidden love, my hatred for myself is not done.

For I might face, many obstacles in this place.

Now I have you, what more can I now do?

The world seemed calm, now I don't seem alarmed.

The scares that I now have, I shall face to the end.

With you, this is all I can do…

To face my fears, and end my tears…!

Arigatou! ^_^ I'm glad I finished this finally; I know it's been long, but a friend of mine, had her birthday on the 17th. It was fun and so funny. X) One of her friends put sauce on her without even knowing and we all laughed so much! XD

Well then, thank you all! 3 (By the way - The 3's are supposed to be hearts, hehe! ^_^ X3)


	4. Dream and awakening

**Hello! No time for me, time for you guys to read! **

**Enjoy this incredibly short chapter for now~**

**Thank you all I am the worst! :D I have to be quick on this Chap! I am so busy right now! Agh! **

**UnheardSalvation: Thank you for following. You are awesome! May you have a good time! 3**

**Weebeez: Thank you as well, for following. You are amazing! May you have a good time! 3**

**Inuyashamunkey: I GOT A REVIEW! :D But I am so awful! I shouldn't confuse those who read my fic's, those you follow and favourite! T^T I'm sorry if I did! But this is a very quick chapter and it's not rushed, I actually copied off a scrap of my draft/paper. Which I planned to use in the future, but since I have so much going on, I am a bit stressed and have to go back to the Hospital on 19****th**** from now. I hope that can explain my awfulness as an author! DX But enough of this, I hope this twists! C: Thank you for the question! I appreciate it! May you too have a good one! 3**

***Gives everyone Dango's and DGM Plushies***

**Peace~**

**Thank you and enjoy Crimson Flow~**

"Haaaaa!"

I sat up in bed, breathing hard and fast. I feel sweat falling down from my face as my hands grip the sheets. I look around to see no Lavi. No doctor Bak-San or Nurse Fou. But, I am in the hospital, right? I calm down as I hear beeps as I look at the heart monitor beeping fast, but I thought I calmed down…didn't I?

I hear footsteps from outside, and yelling. What's going on? Lavi? Where did he go?

"Fou! Get some help! Go now!" Bak-San?

I see Bak-San rushing in so fast I could apprehend what's going on.

"Bak-San…?" He doesn't respond as he checks my heart, pulse, temperature and asked some questions. Other assistants and medical team checked my wrists and gave me pain killers and new bandages too. They advise me to have happy thoughts, heh, and good luck with that.

After he smiled and left, after telling me that – my heart was fast when I was calm, was because I was still panicking or anxious about something…? Not sure. And that I might be out of the hospital soon.

After thinking about that dream, I knew nothing like that would ever happen, even if it was a dream-come-true, which I hope not. I don't want Lavi or any of my now ex-friends to be near me…ever again after what happened.

I KNEW, that wasn't a dream, my cuts are still there, the images of students smiling then having, cold, angry and hate expressions made me feel so empty and lost.

But the worst, is when my friends rejected me and told me the truth, especially Lavi, it shattered my heart.

A nurse came by and advised me that a guest is coming. Great. That was sarcastic by the way!

My response was only a nod, when the nurse left, I looked out the window…wanting to be the birds that can fly – to be free.

"Oi. Allen." That voice. Oh no! He's gonna be so angry because of the house, I dead!

I turn to Cross slowly with fear, as I see him leaning on the door frame smoking as always. Wait…Smoking?

"Master Cross! You are not allowed to smoke here! It's a hospital!" Of course, I have to lecture Cross and his smoking choices/problems.

"What? I can do whatever the-"

"Language!"

"-Fudge I want."

"Better." I smile because I had a goal to try and let Cross to not swear too much. It hurts my ears!

I hear Cross mutter…I didn't hear it the first time, so I kindly asked for him to repeat…

…This time, it's not a dream – and this time, I heard him loud and clear.

"Allen, we are moving to a new town."

As it seemed as anything could've gotten worse.

Being fooled, and blind by what Lavi and the others said, getting my left arm burned, cutting my wrists to end my life, and now in hospital, had a dream about Lavi fixing things up, now Cross is telling me we have to move out of my home town!

It just did.

**SO SHORT! DX I know! Please forgive me! I am so sorry! ;_; I will try my best for this fic! I will! For now on, I'm gonna try – to get my Kanda Yu Cosplay, draw, relax, be happy, try and not to scold myself which I will because I failed you all! :'(**

**I will try! I promise! *Gets food and Plushies with Laven* I hope you at least enjoyed this lazy chapter. *Waterfall of tears stream down face* I'm still so sorry! I will absolutely try my best next time to explain! :D * DGM Plushies and Laven for everyone!* 3**


	5. Suprise

***Cries unstoppable tears* Huwaaaa! T^T I didn't expect this coming! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! 3 (Heart) :3 Man, lucky you all weren't there when I was reading my messages. Just got home from school, had a pretty good day, same old stuff, had some green apples, (I LOVE THEM! XD) after that, went on my iPod and to check my Hotmail and what did I find…**

**All of these awesome people! :D**

**ChibiThingOfDoom: Thank you for both following and favourite-ing so much! I appreciate this lots! Have great days awaiting you. 3**

**The Fantabulous Nemo Dexter: Thank you for following so much! This means a lot to me! Have great times awaiting you. 3**

**WeirdButILoveIt: Thank you also for following and favourite-ing! It means so much! Have great sunshine's awaiting you. 3**

**Ending-Story: Thank you also for following! This is just too much, I appreciate it a lot! Have great futures awaiting you. 3**

**Hikaru Line 28: Konichuwa! ^_^ Yep! I am getting a Kanda Yu Cosplay and I will love it and cherish it forever too! X3 And here is the next Chapter 5! And I thought that Chapter 4 was a bit rushed/fast and unexplainable, but I'm glad you loved it. I now found a happy place now. :) Arigatou! Have great smiles awaiting you. 3**

**Thank you all for favourite-ing and following, I is sorry if I missed anyone I did not mention! I am so busy and I am forgetting so many things and I even forgot when I last updated… T^T But now I should be back on track! :D ^_^**

***Gives everyone Dango's and -Man Plushies* ^ω^**

**Thank you and enjoy Crimson Flow~**

_Unstable - Wanting to electrocute himself with an electric cable,  
Insane - Done with all this crap in his brain.  
Mental- Slitting his wrists as drops of blood fall,  
Misunderstood - He just wanted to have a life, he only wanted to do good!_

Chapter 5

Surprise

"Timcampy, please come here." I ask the golden golem as it flutters to me lightly. He lies in my hair, snuggling in warmth. Its winter right now - all that snow, I pear at the window seeing snowflakes falling down from sky to ground… Currently seeping my hot chocolate with marshmallows and mint with some chocolate powder on top – and it's so yummy! Maybe because I am the one who made it, hehe, wait – why am I sitting here at the kitchen table when I could be outside making a snowman?!

I drink the last of my hot chocolate – home-made by the way, and I wash up the other dishes quickly when I notice I am washing one of my Master's prized knives. It gives me shivers as every time, it seems whenever I look or even glance at it quickly at something sharp, it reminds me of that night and regretful day after, since a year – it still frightens me to this day. I mean, being pushed around at school, being called "Freak" and a daily basis…even a "Faggot". I just want to disappear, but then I think so some reason – of what would Lavi say…what would he do? I can't help but wonder. After thinking for a while, I finish up, dry them off and then place them in the cupboards. I supress the memories as I make my way to the front door and then hearing the doorbell going off just a second before I was about to grab the door knob. Do I answer it? Master Cross isn't here – so it can't be the cops.

Then…Who…?

I then hear the doorbell go off another time, seems like this person is not the one for patience. It went off again and again as I got so annoyed! I grab hold of the door knob and I twist it gently as to see a guy with flaming red-orange hair and that same emerald eye. Wait…WHAT?! I am caught by surprise as I shook slightly at the fought this guy…is him. It can't be. I come back to my senses and I try to close the door fast, but then his foot blocked it. Dammit! I do not want this guy to be here! Lavi or not, I don't want anyone to see me right now! I'm…I'm a mess. I notice his boot that's blocking the way to closing the door is full of rags and tatters – scraped and worn-out. What tha-

"Please! Let me stay! I have nowhere else to go! Please! I'm begging you!"

I stay at shock with the plead coming from this guy. I then gulp and I quickly turn around and put my winter hoodie on and hide my scar with my hair. I don't want this guy to think I am a serial killer. Pfft! What a turn-out that would be, ne?! Heh…

I let him in and close the door and then I take an observation of him. His clothes are ruined to be exacted. Holy Dango. What has this guy been into?

"T-Thank you…" I hear as I take a breath.

"No problem…umm, you can sit on the couch if you want. I'll be right back."

"Ok…" Was the reply as I storm out of the lounge as I cower in the kitchen, I just let a stranger into the house! He could kill me, rob the house, there are many possibilities of what one can do. I then take some more breathes as I peek at the guy. He seems pretty beat. But looks can't fool me! I am prepared!

"Hey, you want some hot chocolate?" I ask as I see a nod.

I might as well make myself another one.

-5 or so minutes later-

"Here you go." I say as I put his on the coffee table and I sip mine carefully not to burn my tongue. He does the same; he tries it as it looked like he never had hot chocolate before. I can't help but ask,

"You ever had hot chocolate before?"

Silence is written in the air as he tilts his head to the side, his 'cape' covers his hair, but the front part is visible, but covers his right eye. The only thing I can see on his face is scratches and bruises. But I can see that emerald eye, that same eye that betrayed me.

I still can't believe he did that – I mean, my friends, and my crush, they build me up and then they broke me. I was so stupid then – I mean, no one would think that a gay-freak would have the guts to have a crush on a perfect straight guy! I shake my head "No" to myself as I hear a mumble.

"What was that?" I politely ask.

"This hot chocolate…It tastes like the one my friend always made…on winter days and nights…this tastes exactly like it!" I freeze in shock as he continues.

"He was so good at making them, he was happy all the time, despite his father died, and him and I would always listen to music and draw. Make jokes and prank Kanda. We would always go girl-shopping with Lenalee too. It's just that – I haven't seen him for so long. I want to see him. But it seems I just can't."

I grip the cup a bit harder and gulp. I had to ask him this…

"Who is this person you are talking about if you don't mind me asking?"

I smile politely as he answers the answer I never expected.

"Allen Walker."

Then, the only sound was heard throughout the house was the cup filled with hot chocolate hitting the ground and smashing as silence followed after as this guy right in front of me is the one and only:

"Lavi…is that…you?" The question flowed out of my mouth as he looks at me with wide eyes as he sets down the cup while he walks to me.

"Yeah…my name is Lavi. Why?" He looks at me as he squints his eye as he looks at mine, then he moves my hair out of my left eye. He gasps and then a single tear leaves his eye.

"Allen…Is that you…?" He asks me, he lifts up his arm to take my hoodie off then he wraps me into a warm hug.

I must be dreaming again…

"I would and never will forget those silver eyes of yours Allen…" He says as he continues, "After that day shattered me as much as you…"

I can't believe this is happening! This has to be a dream! This- just can't be happening, is this just a coincidence that he is here in my house…talking to a gay-freak like me? Why is he even here? Even after breaking me…breaking my heart while I still live? Even standing near me like we always used to do when Lavi and I were friends, but now, I don't know whenever if we are _still_ friends…

Or did he found out I loved him? No! That would be the most terrifying thing in my life if he found out. Because now that he is near me, standing in front of me…My heart can't help but beat so fast as I feel butterflies flutter around my stomach.

"I had to say that to keep you safe. It was the only option." Lavi says as I can't help but belive my crush.

"Lavi…Can I ask you 3 questions…for now?" I look at him, into his eye as it shines bright.

"Fire away!" He grins, but I know this question will wipe that grin off his face when I ask this.

"Why are you in this state…Lavi? What exactly happened on that day? And how did you possibly think that would keep me safe when I could've died that night?"

Then my silver eyes saw that grin get wiped off his face, I knew this would happen - as his emerald eye widens as I see more tears leave his eye…

Then I notice a warm feeling around my whole body to notice that Lavi is hugging me.

"I…didn't know you would go that far to killing yourself…Allen. But I will tell you this…you were meant to let your blood flow in crimson. That's what they don't want. They will not hurt you now since your appearance changed and they do not notice you as you anymore. Komui let the whole school know and played the part. Lenalee and Kanda were so heart-broken to do what they had to do…"

Lavi's voice hiccupped as I couldn't believe what he was saying. Why do I suddenly think of that night and now I think of cutting…? But I told myself Mana wouldn't like it if I did…but now that I think about what happened that day…my mind focused on that sharp blade.

As if Lavi noticed me thinking, he grabbed my wrist seeing my ugly arm and scars, now I notice that tomorrow I have to go to the therapist. He helps me a lot, because now I have depression – and Cross said to attend every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday.

"A-Allen…" I close my eyes shut to think that this isn't happening. But then my emotions got the best in me…

"JUST GET OUT!"

"A-Allen! You don't know what's happening, you could get hurt!" Lavi warns, I did not listen as I push him towards the door and open it, as he heeds me one more warning.

"I…I beg of you, Allen, they are coming, we had to do what we had done last year. Trust me."

I was taken back then, but I remark this to him,

"Let them come and what you had to do didn't had to let me almost end my fuckin' life! Now I am messed up and a freak! LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME!" I shout to him with tears streaming down my face as I took a close step towards him as he takes a look and regret and guilt covered his face and eye as he takes a step backward to go out into the cold snow.

I start to tear up, but I _will not_ cry in front of him. I just cursed which is not what I normally do – it's his entire fault!

"Sorry…Allen Walker…Please forgive me…and no matter what…I am here for you still. Don't give up."

I hear as I shut the door with my head leaning on it, grinding my teeth together as tears finally make their way from my eyes to the ground. I whisper to him even though I know he can't hear me,

"Don't go…"

I can't help but look at the cupboards, and walk over to them to give upon one of Master Cross's prized knifes. Then my head illuminated my eyes as I see it covered with blood…my blood. Timcampy wakes up and sees me with the knife going towards my left wrist.

I then glide my right hand on my burned messed up arm, as it the skin cracked as I slice my wrist, until half way of my masterpiece, I stop – but then I narrow my eyes in hate as I press down harder and I slice my wrist faster than before. Why is this all happening…?

I was supposed to forget about you…but you came into my life once more…

What possibly could happen next?

But now that I think of it…you came into a life of one that is already dead…as Crimson Flows…

_Running everywhere - having nowhere to go to,  
Going mad - having no one there to hold you.  
Beating heart - going too fast, just want to put him disappointed memories in the past,  
In this place - going to go insane with no sanity in trace._

**I hope you all enjoyed that chapter! ^^ **

**Lavi is here, and why is he in that state? Who are **_**They**_**? Was it their intention for Allen to move? Was it their intention for Allen to change appearance? But now that Lavi knows Allen has changed **_**so **_**much. What will he do now? Is Allen focusing too much on the past to move on and see what Lavi can see, which is right in front of him that is something so beautiful. Allen **_**is **_**in too much pain – but can Lavi **_**save**_** Allen from it while Allen's Crimson Flow keeps flowing…?**

**Oh! And the small poem is by me! I was so upset then – but then I just had to move on and use this in this chapter! ^_^**

**Thank you a lot! This really makes me so happy to see many reading, but also showing support. I love you all! 3 If there is a 3, it means it's a heart. ^_^**


End file.
